Dear West Virginia

I would like to take this time to thank you for the wonderful vacation you offered me. You were able to keep me fully amazed the entire duration of my trip. I was able to see things that I didnt know existed or were even possible.

Here are a few of these modern marvels that I would like to share with the unfortunate people that do not get to have such delightful vacations.

I will start with the curvy roads ahead sign. For those of you who have never ventured to this great state you may not know that there isnt even one straight road. So to the pleasure of my pregnant stomach I was hurled around curves for miles upon miles at the great speed of atleast 50mph.

Next up is this beautiful creation made famous by no other than Billy Ray Cyrus. I was fortunate to see one of these on about 98% of the people in Calhoun County WV. And not only were these people special enough to have the most versatile haircut but they made sure to always be wearing their camo. This goes for men, women, and children. Yes, even babies.

Dont these people know what they are doing to their children? Dont they know how they will turn out? OOOH wait, they do know. Just like themselves and dang proud of it.

And while we are on the topic of pride...here is a lil something to be proud of. On the fronts of many trailors you will find some redneck proudly flying his REBEL (confederate for us refined people) flag. Did these people not get the memo...the war was over 100+ years ago and the south lost.

WARNING: this next section is not to make fun of those who live or have lived in trailors. Only to make others aware of the trailor cult that is taking over West Virginia.

Trailors, trailors, and more trailors. You can go miles without even one house in sight. And these arent just any trailors they are trash. Some have no windows, some have no floors, some have no front door, but all are filled with people with no teeth. And as this trailor cult grows and people have to out do their neighbors......thus comes the SUPER-Trailor. This means that you take 2,3, or even 4 trailors and smash them up against each other and form one big pile of trash. You then invite you cousin and your uncle and in-laws to move in with you.

I always wanted to try a sandwitsh and I found the only place in the world to offer one. Among this delight I was offered privit parking out back and a bathrum for costumers only. Unfortunately I had left all of my halloween costumes at home so I had to hold it while I ate.

All in all West Virginia is a wonderful place full of wonderful people and I had a wild time. After all it is